When Emotions Ride the Rollercoaster

One moment, they’re laughing uncontrollably. The next? Tears. Slammed doors. “Leave me alone!” suddenly becomes the new soundtrack to your evenings.

If you’ve ever wondered, “What happened to my sweet child?” — you’re not alone.

Puberty mood swings are one of the most challenging (and often misunderstood) aspects of growing up. While we often prepare our kids for body changes, we rarely talk enough about the emotional rollercoaster they’re strapping into — and how to ride it with them, not against them.

This guide will help you:

  • Understand the science behind emotional puberty changes
  • Respond calmly to outbursts and meltdowns
  • Teach your child healthy tools for coping with puberty
  • Strengthen your bond, even during emotional storms

Let’s break the silence and stigma around mood swings — and support your child with the empathy, structure, and resilience they need.

Why Puberty Mood Swings Happen

Two girls enjoy a summer evening on a quiet street, one holding a small puppy while the other bikes beside her.

A Brain Under Construction

Your child’s brain is undergoing massive upgrades during puberty — especially in the amygdala (which controls emotions) and the prefrontal cortex (which regulates decision-making and impulse control).

Unfortunately, the emotional part of the brain develops faster than the logical part, like giving someone a Ferrari engine with bicycle brakes.

Hormones in Overdrive

Oestrogen, progesterone, and testosterone flood the body during puberty. These hormones affect:

  • Mood stability
  • Sleep patterns
  • Appetite
  • Response to stress

It’s no wonder your usually easy-going tween suddenly bursts into tears because “the sandwich is cut wrong”.

Spotting Emotional Puberty Changes

Here’s what mood swings might look like in real life:

  • Irritability over small things
  • Crying without a clear cause
  • Sudden anger or outbursts
  • Dramatic highs and lows
  • Sensitivity to tone or perceived criticism
  • Withdrawing or isolating themselves
  • Strong opinions or identity shifts

It’s important to note that occasional mood swings are normal. But if emotions consistently interfere with daily life, it’s worth seeking professional guidance.

How to Support Your Child Through Puberty Mood Swings

A family of three stands together in an outdoor setting, wearing casual clothing, with a lush green background. The child holds a colorful object.

1. Stay Calm and Regulate Yourself

Your reaction sets the tone. If you escalate, the situation often worsens.

Try saying:

“I see you’re upset. Let’s take a minute and talk when you’re ready.”

Model emotional regulation by:

  • Taking deep breaths
  • Speaking softly
  • Pausing before responding

Think: be the thermostat, not the thermometer.

2. Create a Safe Emotional Environment

Let your child know:

  • Their feelings are valid
  • They won’t be punished for expressing emotion
  • They can come to you, even if it’s uncomfortable

Avoid phrases like:

  • “Don’t be so dramatic.”
  • “You’re overreacting.”
  • “What’s wrong with you?”

Try instead:

“It’s okay to feel this way — let’s figure it out together.”

3. Teach Emotional Vocabulary

Most tweens feel emotions but don’t yet have the language to describe them.

Use tools like:

  • Emotion charts or wheels
  • Journaling prompts
  • Examples from books or TV: “How do you think that character felt?”

Ask:

  • “Are you feeling angry or just overwhelmed?”
  • “Do you want me to listen, or are you looking for advice?”

Building emotional intelligence starts with naming what’s going on.

4. Help Them Identify Triggers

Ask your child:

  • “Have you noticed if you feel more upset when you’re tired/hungry/online too long?”
  • “What do you need when you feel like that?”

Common triggers:

  • Academic pressure
  • Social dynamics
  • Body image struggles
  • Hormonal shifts tied to menstrual cycles
  • Lack of sleep or poor nutrition

Keep a “Mood Tracker” to spot patterns.

5. Offer Tools for Self-Regulation

Help them build a toolbox of coping strategies:

  • Breathing techniques (box breathing, 4-7-8)
  • Journaling or drawing
  • Going for a walk
  • Listening to music
  • Talking to a trusted adult

Create a calm-down corner at home with:

  • Fidget tools
  • A soft blanket
  • Positive affirmation cards

6. Build Healthy Routines

Mood stability thrives on predictability.

Encourage:

  • Regular sleep (9–11 hours)
  • Balanced meals and hydration
  • Daily movement or exercise
  • Limited screen time (especially before bed)

7. Encourage Creative Expression

Many kids process big emotions through:

  • Art
  • Dance
  • Music
  • Storytelling

Provide access to creative outlets and praise expression over perfection.

8. Don’t Take Mood Swings Personally

It’s easy to feel hurt when your child lashes out.

Remember:

  • You’re their safe space
  • They often vent to you because they trust you
  • It’s not about you — it’s about them learning to cope

Use boundaries, not punishment, to keep interactions respectful:

“I understand you’re upset, but I won’t let you speak to me that way. Let’s try again in a few minutes.”

When to Worry: Mood Swings vs. Mental Health Concerns

While mood swings are typical, certain signs may point to deeper issues:

Seek support if you notice:

  • Persistent sadness or hopelessness
  • Sudden drop in grades or school refusal
  • Self-harm behaviours
  • Changes in sleep or eating patterns
  • Withdrawal from friends or activities
  • Talk of not wanting to live

Speak with your GP, school counsellor, or child psychologist.

Real Parent Stories: Riding the Emotional Waves

“The Rage-Spaghetti Incident”

“My son once shouted at me because I ‘ruined his life’ by making spaghetti two nights in a row. I almost cried! But later that night, he hugged me and said, ‘Sorry, my brain felt too full today.’ That moment taught me it wasn’t about dinner — it was about overwhelm.”

“Mood Charts Saved Us”

“We created a colour-coded mood tracker on the fridge. Green meant calm, yellow meant anxious, red meant ‘I need space’. It helped my daughter communicate without needing to find words.”

Helpful Phrases to Use With an Emotional Tween

  • “It’s okay to feel how you feel.”
  • “Big feelings are part of growing up — I’ve been there too.”
  • “Let’s find a way to work through this together.”
  • “Would you like to take a break or talk it out?”
  • “You’re allowed to feel angry — but not to hurt others.”

Conclusion: You’re Not Just a Parent — You’re Their Anchor

A woman and a girl embrace by a serene pond, both wearing white dresses, with lush greenery and a cloudy sky in the background.

Puberty isn’t just a physical transformation — it’s an emotional awakening. And your child, as much as they push back or roll their eyes, needs your steady presence more than ever.

Key takeaways:

  • Mood swings are a normal part of puberty
  • Emotional development and regulation take time and support
  • Connection, not correction, builds long-term resilience
  • You don’t have to fix their feelings — just witness them without judgment

With compassion, patience, and open communication, you can help your child learn that it’s okay to feel deeply — and that they’re never alone in those feelings.

Join the Conversation

What’s the wildest puberty mood swing moment you’ve experienced with your child? Share your story — your insight could help another parent feel less alone. Subscribe for more parenting tools, guides, and printable trackers. Know a parent struggling through “the emotional years”? Send this their way — they’ll thank you later.